Ten years ago from today, I was mourning the loss of my dad, a victim of cancer. Today, I am celebrating his life and remembering the great memories that we had together. He was a dedicated family man who only wanted the best for his wife and children. He was the glue that held us together.
I’ve shared my story to a select few of what the experience was like during last few days of my dad’s life. And today, I’ve decided to share it with whoever cares to read this. Ten years marks a big milestone for me and I would love to share the joys and pains of a very important part of my life. I’m not doing this for sympathy or attention, but only for the sake of sharing so others who knew him could remember him and those who didn’t know him would learn of the legend he left. This is for my father, who deserves to be remembered through the good and bad.
My dad was diagnosed with liver cancer a month after he came from the Philippines to bury his father. Doctors said the cancer cells were aggressive, he probably had 6-8 months to live, and it was stage 4. This was in the month of February. Shocked and in panic, my mom, brothers, and I did all we could to provide him with vitamins, organic fruits and vegetables, and our undivided attention. We were very blessed to have close family and friends that came by to help us out with buying and cooking food for him.
As each week passed, he progressively got worse. He struggled for every breath, and needed a lot of energy that he didn’t have to move around. The oxygen tank soon wasn’t enough to help him breathe, so we checked him into the hospital. This was a Tuesday evening. We all stayed at the hospital over night. Wednesday morning, he was OK and was able to talk and joke around with us, but by night time he was mostly sedated with morpheme because the pain was too much to bear. Doctors told us the cancer spread to his lungs. We slept at the hospital again, and my dad had asked me to sleep right next to him on his hospital bed.
“Good night dad.” “Good night, baby. I love you.” “I love you too, dad.”
Little did I know, that would be the last time he spoke. Thursday morning came and he was trying to tell me something but no one could understand him. I gave him a pen and paper, and he scribbled something I could barely make out, “Brush teeth.” Haha! My dad is silly.
Thursday night, my dad was transferred to another room. It was bigger and isolated in a corner. That wasn’t good news. Visiting hours weren’t enforced so our family and friends stayed over night with us too. This was it. It was just a matter of waiting. Friday came and went. Waiting was all we could do. Saturday morning came and the doctor told us he was unresponsive. He was still breathing and hooked up to a heavy duty oxygen tank, but the oxygen pressure slowly dropping. The room was full of people. Aunts and uncles, friends, cousins, my brothers, my mom, and me. Someone walked up to him, read a chapter of my dad’s favorite Psalms, and then said, “Go home Edgar. Your family will be safe and taken care of. Go home.” And with that, we said a prayer. As soon as we all said, “Amen”, he stopped breathing, and room broke out with screams and wailing.
Every time I think of those last days that I spent with my dad, every hair on my body stands up and tears drop like bullets. The timing of his last breath to the end of our prayers was unbelievable. I miss him so much, and I wish I had more time with him. Ten years is a long time, yet it feel it doesn’t feel like it’s been that long.
Sigh.
I miss him. He was a GREAT father, and I wish I took more advantage of the time I had with him while he was still healthy.
Here are my top 10 reasons (one for every year that he’s been away 
) why he was a great father:
1. We played tennis everyday after school when I was in kindergarden and 1st grade.
2. After playing tennis, if I had a good lesson with him, he would buy me my favorite rainbow donut.
3. My dad would stop by my elementary school during recess time just to say hi for a couple seconds. I was in the 2nd grade.
4. He would make cool dinners and we were allowed to watch in front of the TV and eat straight from the pot. We usually had mac and cheese. Of course this was when my mom wasn’t home to cook. She would never allow such barbaric mannerisms.
5. He would bring me to Costco to eat unlimited amounts of samples. That was our lunch. He didn’t want to tell me we didn’t have enough money to buy food.
6. My dad was awesome at building computers. He built me my own computer and it was one of the fastest at the time.
7. We moved into a new house in Riverside, and we had a pretty big backyard. I really wanted a swing, so he built one for me that hung from a tree branch. Took him ALL weekend, but he finished it! I was the happiest kid ever!
8. He taught me how to ride a bike, and as soon as I learned, we rode our bikes all the time!
9. For every tennis match, school graduation, back to school night, choir concert, and piano recital, he was there with his camera and camcorder, proud as ever.
10. My first official dance was with my dad on my 18th birthday. I was in a gown, he was in a tuxedo, and we waltzed across the dance floor in front of our family and friends. I guess that will take place of the father/daughter dance for my future wedding.
